


101 ways to say I love you

by Phoebmonster



Series: shiny motor cars and eyeglasses full of stars [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/F, Letters, One Shot, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 18:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1789573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebmonster/pseuds/Phoebmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye is missing and Jemma writes to her every day. (It's sad. Like really sad. Rated T for literally how sad this is.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	101 ways to say I love you

**Author's Note:**

> So I was walking to my friend’s house and I though why the hell not. Who doesn't want to write 101 heart breaking letters? I can't believe this ... (sorry if I forgot any numbers)

\----------------------------------  
1.  
Skye,  
Where are you? They thought you'd come back. You hadn't.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
2.  
Skye,  
I hope you're alright. Please be alright.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
3.  
Skye,  
We've been tracking the Hydra cell which might have taken you, right to their base in the Alps. I hope you're there. Please be okay.  
I love you.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
4.  
Skye,  
You weren't there. They didn't have you.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
5.  
Skye,  
May broke a man’s jaw when he refused to answer questions on where you were. I miss you. I hope the next man tells us where you are so you can come home.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
6.  
Skye,  
They won't tell us and we can't find you. Stay strong, stay alive. I'll bring you home, don't worry.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
7.  
Skye,  
It's been a week. This is unbearable. I miss you so much.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
8.  
Skye,  
Fitz is getting worried about me. I haven't cried yet. I don't know why. When you come home, I won't let you out of my sight, understand?  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
9.  
Skye,  
The trail's getting colder. We've flushed out three local hydra cells. Where do they have you?  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
10.  
Skye,  
I'm so scared. Please be alright. I love you. I told you that, didn't I?  
I love you I love you I love you  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
11.  
Skye,  
I cried today. It was so stupid as well, I dropped a mug and it smashed. It wasn't even your favourite mug or anything. Fitz held me and I think he cried too.  
We're all so scared.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
12.  
Skye,  
We're in Germany looking for you now. May and Tripp took down a whole team of hydra agents, and Coulson's lying to HQ about what we know of your whereabouts. We don't know a damned thing.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
13.  
Skye,  
HQ keep calling. They don't understand.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
14.  
Skye,  
It's been two weeks. They're pulling the plug on the mission. The trail is cold they said. But how can it be cold when you are warm and alive? Coulson said we'd keep looking, but in secret. We won't give up on you, I promise.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
15.  
Skye,  
I slept in your bed last night. I hope you don't mind.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
16.  
Skye,  
Fitz is worried again. He won't say anything.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
17.  
Skye,  
Maybe it’s the whole sleeping in your bed thing. He doesn't know that I spent most of my time in your bed in the last few months.  
It wasn't normally this cold though.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
18.  
Skye,  
No one can find anything. It's like you vanished. Please come back. Tell me you're alright.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
19.  
Skye,  
No one’s talking and I’m so scared. Please be okay.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
20.  
Skye,  
Coulson looks so tired. Fitz keeps dropping things. Please come home, fix this.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
21.  
Skye,  
I dreamt about you last night. You were flying. I asked me to take me with you. You didn't.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
22.  
Skye,  
I keep dreaming about you. Maybe it's because I'm still in your bed.  
I love you.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
23.  
Skye,  
Take me with you, please. I can't bear it.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
24.  
Skye,  
Tripp broke a guy’s arm today. He was a SHIELD agent who made a very back hand remark about how the search for you wasted government money. I hope they're not too harsh on him.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
25.  
Skye,  
We're all in custody now. They figured out we were still searching.  
My bed is cold and scratchy and doesn't smell like you.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
27.  
Skye,  
They only gave Tripp a suspension, though we're all suspended now. I miss you so badly.  
Love, Jemma  
\----------------------------------  
28.  
Skye,  
Will they give us the plane back? I hope they do. They better not move your stuff. You hate it when people move your stuff.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
29.  
Skye,  
I shouted at some SHIELD agents today. They wouldn't listen. They wanted to pack your things into boxes.  
Coulson took over shouting when I was crying too much.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
30.  
Skye,  
It's been a whole month since you went missing. It feels a lot longer. Are you safe? Be safe, please. I'll find you.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
31.  
Skye,  
I punched a wall today. It broke my hand. Fitz bandaged me up; we didn't speak.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
32.  
Skye,  
What did I say before you left? Did you know I love you? Did I tell you?  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
33.  
Skye,  
I found the security footage. I did say I love you. But you promised you'd come home safe, and you didn't. You told me months ago you'd stop breaking promises. Please, keep this one.  
I love you  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
34.  
Skye,  
I can't stop replaying the footage. The words I said are burnt into my memory. I can't forget anything.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
35.  
Skye,  
What will I say when you get home?  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
36.  
Skye,  
I'll say 'I love you.'  
I haven't gotten passed that yet.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
37.  
Skye,  
They broke up the team. We're all being transferred to the hub, given our own jobs. I'm staying with Fitz, which is nice. He keeps me going.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
38.  
Skye,  
This room doesn't remind me of you and I hate it.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
39  
Skye,  
They gave me all of your stuff. It's in the corner of my room. I hope you don't mind sharing with me.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
40.  
Skye,  
When you get home we can leave this place. You can meet my parents, they'd love you. I know you don't like families, but we could make it work. Besides, who wouldn't want you in their family? You're amazing.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
41.  
Skye,  
We could get an apartment in the city. Or maybe a house. I'm saving up the money. When you get home, you can help me.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
42.  
Skye,  
We could start a family. I'd be fine with adopting. A girl and a boy was what you said, wasn't it? Give them the family you never had.  
You've got a family, Skye. We're waiting for you. Please come back.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
43.  
Skye,  
I can focus more on science now. It helps distract me from the you not being there part of my life.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
44.  
Skye,  
I finally perfected my typhoid vaccine today. It should save thousands of lives. I wish you were here, so I could explain it to you. You liked it when I talked science.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
45.  
Skye,  
They want to put your name on the wall of valour. Which is difficult because they only have 'Skye.' When then asked me about it I said you could tell them yourself when you got home.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
46.  
Skye,  
SHIELD are worried about me. I've been put in to talk to a therapist. They don't know that I'll be right as rain when you walk through the door.  
Love, Jemma  
\----------------------------------  
47.  
Skye,  
I'm keeping my phone on me at all times in case you call. The therapist got a bit annoyed at that. His name is Dr Mitchell and he doesn't understand.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
48.  
Skye,  
I looked. I have more doctorates than he does. So there.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
49.  
Skye,  
Fitz took me to a bar today. It was awful. Guys kept hitting on me. I told them I have a girlfriend but they just laughed. When you come back, we should go back there and prove them wrong.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
50.  
Skye,  
I can't find it. Where is it? Mum's going to be so angry...  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
51.  
Skye,  
I found it. My grandmother’s wedding ring, I got it for my twenty first birthday. I'll wear it, so people will see I'm married.  
I hope you don't mind. I'll ask you properly when you get home.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
52.  
Skye,  
Fitz saw the ring. He didn't ask.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
53.  
Skye,  
Oh. It's tomorrow. I'd lost track of time. Sorry.  
I'll go get you something right away.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
54.  
Skye,  
I bought you flowers. Roses. I don't know where to put them. My hands were shaking too much to put them in a vase so they're on the window sill.  
Happy birthday darling.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
55.  
Skye,  
When you're back, I'll buy you something special. Maybe a puppy.  
Love, Jemma  
\----------------------------------  
56.  
Skye,  
Fitz told me he's got a date tonight. Her name's Lucy. That's nice, isn't it? I'd love to meet her. When you're back, we can go on dates again.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
57.  
Skye,  
We could go to the park round the corner from the hub. They've got a duck pond and I could buy you ice-cream.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
58.  
Skye,  
We could go to a nice restaurant. Maybe Italian. We could share a pizza. Ham and pineapple - you can eat the pineapple from my side.  
I love you.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
59.  
Skye,  
We could go watch films and make out in the back of a cinema. Beats movies on the bus.  
Jemma .  
\----------------------------------  
60.  
Skye,  
I watched Skyfall today. Do you remember? It was the first film we watched together and you kissed me as the credits rolled. I laughed at some parts which aren't funny, mainly because I'm remembering something you said which was funny. I like the sound of your voice.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
61.  
Skye,  
I've been hiding from my therapist. He doesn't believe you're coming back.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
62.  
Skye,  
I mean, he doesn't say it in so many words, but I can see it in his eyes.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
63.  
Skye,  
I miss the others. I haven't heard from them in weeks. I think we're being kept apart deliberately.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
64.  
Skye,  
I miss you the most though. Please come home. Promise you'll never leave again.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
65.  
Skye,  
Promise me you're safe. Promise me you'll be okay. Promise me you'll come home.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
66.  
Skye,  
The ring on my finger promises all of that to you. Just say it back, okay?  
Please.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
68.  
Skye,  
I'm starting to forget. I don't want to forget.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
69.  
Skye,  
Help me remember. The shape of your lips, the colour of your eyes, the softness of your hair. The sound of your voice. I want to hear you again.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
70.  
Skye,  
Fitz found some photos today. I shut myself in my room and looked at them. You're so pretty. I told you that, didn't I?  
I hope my tears didn't damage the photos.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
71.  
Skye,  
I met Lucy today. She is nice. She didn't ask about the ring or anything which was nice.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
72.  
Skye,  
Happy birthday to me  
Happy birthday to me  
Happy birthday Jemma Simmons  
Happy birthday to me  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
73.  
Skye,  
I made a wish when I blew out the candles. You can guess what it was.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
74.  
Skye,  
Everyone came back for my birthday. It was nice to see them again. You should've been there. Everyone would have been so much happier.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
75.  
Skye,  
My parents called today. I cried down the phone. I think they're coming to see me.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
76.  
Skye,  
I've booked my parents a hotel. We're going to go to New York for a few days. It should be nice.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
77.  
Skye,  
My parents must be talking to Fitz because they don't mention you at all. They know what happened and I know they're worried about me. We don't talk about it though.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
78.  
Skye,  
It must be a British thing. Not talking.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
79.  
Skye,  
It's not like I don't want to talk, it's just I can't find the words. They won't understand. My parents went home today so I'll just talk to you instead.  
Love Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
80.  
Skye,  
I'm Jemma Simmons and I haven't seen my girlfriend in 80 days and she could be injured or dying and I've no way of knowing so of course I'm not okay.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
81.  
Skye,  
It feels like the world should have stopped. Like it should wait for you to come back. No one’s waiting anymore.  
Don't worry.  
I'll wait.  
I love you.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
82.  
Skye,  
See. I can talk about my feelings. Aren't you proud? Jemma Simmons, British person, reveals feelings to the love of her life. I should get a medal.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
83.  
Skye,  
The therapist put me on medication. I don't know why, so I hid them under my bed.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
84.  
Skye,  
I dreamt about you. You were at the bottom of a lake. You looked so beautiful - but pale, so pale and cold. I didn't like seeing your lips so blue, so I kissed you. I woke up crying.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
84.  
Skye,  
I don't want to dream about you. I want you to be safe in my arms and not in the number of horrible places I keep imagining.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
85.  
Skye,  
Coulson gave me your badge today. I'm keeping it under my pillow.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
86.  
Skye,  
The lab can get awfully quiet without you in it.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
87.  
Skye,  
Fitz and Lucy invited me out for dinner today. I think they feel sorry for me. They are buying me drinks though, which is nice.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
88.  
Skye,  
The therapist doesn't know about this whole writing to you thing. I hope he doesn't find out.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
89.  
Skye,  
If he found out, he'd make me stop and I never want to stop talking to you. Not until we're together again, properly.  
Love, Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
90.  
Skye,  
BASTARD I FUCKING HATE HIM THE FUCKING BASTARD  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
91.  
Skye,  
They got Ward and he's saying you're dead but that’s wrong because you're alive you're alive you're alive  
I love you  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
92  
Skye,  
He's lying. He must be. If you died, part of me would die and I am whole so you must be alive.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
93.  
Skye,  
May broke Ward's jaw today. She had to be pulled off of him in interrogation.  
Good.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
94.  
Skye,  
The believe him. They want to bury you.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
95.  
Skye,  
There's nothing to bury though. No family to invite. No birth date. No death date. What would they write on the gravestone?  
They won't bury you. You're alive, I know it.  
I love you.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
96.  
Skye,  
'Here lies Skye  
1990 - 2014  
She will be missed by all'  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
97.  
Skye,  
I don't want to see the gravestone. It's not true.  
Please don't let it be true.  
I love you.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
98.  
Skye,  
The others went without me. I stayed in my bed and looked at the boxes in my room. I can't open them I can't.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
99.  
Skye,  
I hope you know how much I love you. Please know. Please.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
100.  
Skye,  
They told me today you weren't coming back.  
I believe them.  
Jemma.  
\----------------------------------  
\----------------------------------  
101.  
Dear Skye,  
It's been 805 days, or two years, two months and 15 days since you went missing.  
They found your body last week.  
Perfectly preserved in a peat bog. Coulson identified the body, I read the autopsy report. They said you died the day you went missing. Shot four times, three in the stomach, one in the head.  
It wasn't quick and it wasn't painless it was messy and heart breaking and you didn't deserve it.  
Ward confessed, he's in prison now. I see him occasionally. I won't forgive him though. He will beg for my forgiveness one day.  
I suppose you want to know about everyone else. I'll start with Fitz.  
He married Lucy last year, spring wedding. I was a bridesmaid. It was a good night, everyone was there. Even his grandma made the trip over. Lucy's 4 months pregnant now which seems mad! It feels like yesterday that Fitz was yelling down the phone that he was going to be a father. I think I'm godmother, but I'm trying for the position of cool aunt. I could do that, couldn't I?  
Coulson's Director of SHIELD. He put your name on the wall of valour. He comes round occasionally, sometimes with 084's to look at, sometimes just for a chat. Which is nice.  
I haven't seen May in a few months, but she writes all the time. I get cards every birthday and Christmas. Sometimes there's an address to write back to, sometimes there isn't. I'm guessing she's on secret spy duty for SHIELD because she doesn't reveal much in her letters. She did send me a selfie of her with Natasha Romanov though.  
Tripp's having a whale of a time - he's being posted all over the world. My fridge is covered in postcards - Spain, China, Russia, everywhere really. He's got a lovely boyfriend named Daniel. They visited last week, we all went out and had dinner. We gave you a toast.  
I'm better. I'm a lot better. I've got my own apartment in the city, and all on your things are piled up in my wardrobe because I still don't have the courage to open them.  
I'm also fostering. Her name's Lily and she's eight - you'd really like her, she's smart and funny and isn't afraid to ask about you. I've got pictures dotted around the house and sometimes she'll come to me and ask me about them. She thinks it’s cool having a foster mum who went on adventures. I think I'm doing okay, with the whole parenting thing. I think you'd be proud.  
I don't where the ring on my finger anymore, it's on a chain round my neck. It's not perfect, but it's alright and I'll settle for that.  
That’s why I'm writing to you. To say goodbye, for the last time.  
So here it is.  
Skye,  
For the final time.  
I love you.  
Goodbye.  
Jemma.

**Author's Note:**

> The next ( and final ) chapter of superpowered will be out soon. Last week of exams, yay! Feedback is always appreciated, thanks for reading :3


End file.
